Troublesome and Inconclusive
by crimsonriley
Summary: They find themselves on the same side of broken trust. He offers what he can to help her move on. Just a quick little ficlet. Unbetaed. All mistakes are mine.
1. Chapter 1

The knock at her door called her out of her stupor. She rose from her couch and made her way to open it. The light from the outer hall flooded into the small dim entry. Slouching against the door frame she found an outwardly indifferent Shikamaru holding a brown paper bag. The distinct long height and narrow width immediate gave away its contents.

"I'm told this helps," was his only form of greeting.

She opened the door enough for him to enter. Then, she made her way to the kitchen turning on a couple lamps to offer some light and alleviate some of the grim atmosphere she had created for herself. She took two glasses from the cabinet and returned to her livingroom.

Shikamaru looked up to her from his seat on the couch. She chose to sit on the floor across the coffee table from him. Their eyes never left each others as he took the glasses and filled them with a heavy pour. He placed one in front of her. He held the other up slightly tilting it toward her as if to toast. He broke eye contact with her to throw his head back as he emptied his glass. He filled his glass again and repeated the action. However, she only stared at her glass. She knew this would not help her. It might even put her into even more of a depressed state.

"It's not possible you know. It won't make it worse." he said in that dry, tired way of his.

He was already on his third. He paused and watched her ever so studious and calculating. It was not a calculated move to come here. He actually did not know where else would be more fitting than right here with her.

His assessment complete. He noted the vitality was currently drained from her eyes. They actually held no emotion which was a grave statement for this woman. Her hair was messy. Her clothes were standard issue something she rarely dawned. He reasoned she wanted to dress like and be seen as one of the many. That was especially what she was feeling right now, nondescript and not special. It was not any sort of feeling associated with service to the village. It was more personal and deeply wounding. She was distraught and pandering for an affection that was below her in his humble opinion. He could interpret her projections because he felt them just the same.

She raised the glass to her lips and drank slowly. She let the dark liquid coat and burn the whole way down. She relished in its aftermath. "It must be easier when you come from an established clan," she quipped darkly, "Being a ninja, the deceit, the lack of any real emotions toward anyone."

"It's definitely different. It, however, does not excuse one from all things normal, decent, and human. Especially among fellow ninja. We still have a code of honor." he reminded her sternly. Her gaze softened to his. She knew he came from an established clan. She had meant no disrespect. He continued, "Especially among friends, nothing about this easy."

She refilled her glass and emptied it quickly this time. She filled hers and his with the next round. He lifted his glass and clinked the rim with hers. Together they tipped their heads back to empty them.

"So, was Choji too busy to commiserate with you?" she asked curiosity coming to her eyes. The first emotion he had seen that night.

"No, he simply does not want to complicate the team dynamic further," he replied with an even tone.

She simply gave a small nod of understanding. She did not want to complicate the team dynamic either. Hence, Naruto was kept in the dark about the entire situation for now.

She noticed Shikamaru's eyes kept going from distant to calculating. "Stop analyzing me," she stated simply.

Shikamaru chuckled a bit. "I'm sorry; it's just what I do." Amusement, he noticed another emotion returned to her eyes.

She poured another but let it sit on the table. She ran her finger around the rim and asked, "So, what are your findings?"

"Troublesome and inconclusive," he dead panned.

She laughed. It was the first time she had laughed in days. She, herself, had been analyzing her entire situation for days, and those were her exact results: troublesome and inconclusive.

"Shika, why weren't we enough?" she asked simply.

"Did you ever think we were too much?" he queried.

His questioned stunned her. No, she had not even remotely considered that. She was lost in that statement. Confusion knitted her brow and came to her eyes. He liked that her features were beginning to show emotion again rather than the constant ennui he had witnessed for days. He could tell she could not grasp the rationale to his question. Never would she ever consider anything or anyone to be too much for one Sasuke Uchiha. She was still willing to let him remain on his high pedestal after everything. He took it upon himself to explain what she needed to hear.

"This might be hard for you to hear, but Sasuke is a selfish, uncaring, shell of a person. He is flawed. His agenda is all that has ever mattered to him. Sure, he has a prestigious name. He has that tall, dark and handsome thing girls like. He's a skilled high ranking ninja. But that's about it. He only holds one thing sacred, himself," he gave his succinct assessment. He continued by saying, "You, on the other hand, genuinely care about a great many things. Deep within you is a selfless dedication to love and protect not only this village but also your friends. You have great genius and great strength. You combine them to make great strides in medicine as well as in combat. You are esteemed highly in this village as the Hokage's apprentice. You earned that title all on your own. You were not simply born with it like some clan descendant. All of that is more than that shell of a person deserves."

Silence fell upon them. He watched her consider his words. Strangely all emotions left her eyes again. Then, he could tell she was assessing each of his deductions on both accounts. He found it very perplexing to watch. Varying emotions would show as she considered different things.

"Why were you too much?" she asked without prompting.

He gave his report as requested. "I am confident, comfortable, and content. I know who I am. I know who I am not. I am a very simple person with a very complex mind and skill set, an excellent problem solver. I am not overly emotive, but my feelings run deeply." He paused briefly, "In contrast, Ino is flashy, brash, and hungry for adventure and spontaneity. She remains very unsure about her place in life. Her skill level is high, but to her chagrin she remains mediocre among a village such as ours with so many elite ninja. In the end, I am so steady and content, and she feels inferior because she remains so unsure."

She smiled at him. It was almost as if she was out of practice with the motion. It was not forced, but it did not seem completely natural. Then again, he reasoned it could be an effect of the number of glasses they had consumed.

This was his purpose in coming here. He knew that her betrayal was double edged. Not only had her lover betrayed her trust, but she was also betrayed by her best friend. He reasoned Sasuke and Ino were a terrible fit, and Sasuke would try to reclaim Sakura. So, he wanted Sakura to know her worth before Sasuke took advantage of her again. He had been betrayed as well. He knew Ino. He loved Ino, but he was comfortable enough with himself to recognize he was not what she wanted anymore. He was unwilling to change for her. So letting go was rational. It was almost easy.

Sakura, in contrast, had devoted her life to changing for Sasuke, to be what he needed her to be. In her pursuit of strength and skill to attain his attention, she never realized her own worth. He needed her to know. It was important. She was too strong to be a victim. She did not need his protection. She simply needed the to know her worth.

"Thank you, Shikamaru," she said as she wrapped her arm around his back in a half hug while joining him on the couch. She retreated back, and he noticed she looked more vibrant now. She was no longer at a complete loss in their current situation.

"No problem, like I said, I heard it helps," he gestured to the glasses and bottle on the table.

"So does having an excellent problem solver, solve all your problems," she said as she winked at him.

He gave her a small grin, happy to know she would be okay. "I need to get going," he said scooting to the edge of the couch. They stood together and walked toward the door. She caught his hand before he could open the door. He then found himself fully embraced in her hug.

"Thank you for coming. Sorry to be so troublesome," she said with her head tucked under his chin. She pulled away to open the door for him.

He existed saying, "Good night."

As her door closed behind him, and he began walking down the hall to exit the building. He continued to analyze. After his analysis of her, Shikamaru found himself slightly attracted to one Sakura Haruno.

"Hmmm, troublesome and inconclusive," he muttered as he stepped onto the street.


	2. Chapter 2

She busied herself sorting and filing medical scrolls and journals. Her day was winding down at a steady pace. There was comfort in bringing order to chaos around her small desk. Her hand landed on a particularly interesting piece on chakra molding for joint repair in the field. Her eyes skimmed some lines regarding how most practitioners found muscle and tendon reattachment troublesome. Her mouth quirked in a half smile at the word, troublesome.

Ever since he had stopped by her place a few nights ago, certain things would bring him to the forefront of her thoughts. It was nice to hear his analysis of the situation. It was easier to bear in some ways. He listed things she accomplished all on her own. He helped her see her worth as not only a ninja but also a friend. She was certain she would not have arrived at his conclusions left to her own devices. After all, that is why he found her sitting alone in her dark apartment as if the life was sucked out of her. She did not was to face the shame at failing Sasuke, again.

Her face scrunched to a scowl. She had not failed Sasuke. He had failed her. There was still a painful sting in her heart that he could so easily be swayed away by another's affections. That same sting became a painful burn when it was her so-called best friend's affections.

The news of the whole ordeal had eventually spread through the village. No one had dared ask her for any specifics. She just knew the cat was out of the bag when she felt second glances and whispers were heard behind her back as she walked from the hospital to the tower each day. She assumed Tsunade knew because Sasuke was sent away on a lengthy mission, and Ino had been given a lot of back to back medic assignments taking her away from the village as much as possible. She really did not know if Sasuke and Ino were a thing or just a fling. She could not clearly determine if she cared. She would rather not linger on those thoughts.

Her mind drifted to Shikamaru again. He was seemingly handling it better than she was. She had not seen him since his visit, but during said visit he seemed decided and almost at peace with how things played out. Then again, he was always 20 moves ahead of the game. She assumed he always knew there was a possibility that Ino would cheat. He could probably break down the probability statistic and standard deviation of the likelihood of the occurrence.

She openly chuckled. She, then, reasoned he could do that with most people he knew well. She realized he was spot on with his assessment of Sasuke's interest in her being directly tied to her self worth. Realistically, anyone that knew her could probably arrive at the same conclusion. Sasuke had always been her primary objective. However, Shikamaru was more of a mystery despite being a friend. He was a complex puzzle she had never had the insight to solve.

Now though, where did that leave her, she wondered. What had Shika said? She possessed selfless dedication. She did. It was selfless because her goals were for Sasuke and not her own agenda. Though he had gone on to say that dedication was for the village and her friends. She knew she was deeply convicted toward her duties to serve The Hidden Leaf Village. She took pride in her home. She took pride her capabilities. She smiled smugly. She also took pride that she could level small building with a single blow to its foundation. Lastly, she did love her friends fiercely and would gladly level a building to rescue one of them.

Her thoughts turned. It was clear that Shikamaru had been thinking about her. That their situation was a joint endeavor to him. She had felt so isolated and devastated. She sadly did not even considered him or what he must have been feeling. That was anything but selfless dedication to friends. She made no ventures to comfort him. Though she had always considered him a friend, she had forgotten him in her pain. He had analyzed the situation from four very different angles and arrived a sound conclusion. He shared that with her. All she had been doing was drowning in her misery, no end or conclusions in sight.

It did not sit well with her. He had helped her get back up again. He had helped her. She vowed to be a better friend to him. She wanted to be closer, to know him well enough to see his point of view. Then, if he was ever in need of her, she would be there. She would return his sentiments and be what he needed her to be. She would begin cherishing him on a deeper level because he saw her when she could not even see herself for what she really was. It felt as if she owed some great debt to him. She at least owed him another bottle of whisky.

She no longer wanted to be so troublesome and inconclusive.


	3. Chapter 3

He exhaled heavily looking up at the clouds. He head was cradled in his hands, elbows extending outward. His knees bent pointed toward the sky as his feet were planted in the ground. He was content and relaxed.

The clouds were puffy and stark white against a cerulean sky. They floated peacefully along the expanse before disappearing from his view hidden by the outstretched canopy of the Nara forest. A new grouping of clouds made their way across the sky.

Shikamaru rolled his shoulder and back to stretch a bit. He could not remember when he had last felt so much contentment. There was just this sense of tranquility. Nothing loomed over him. His face slipped into a soft smile.

He was relatively certain his mood was atypical for his situation. It did, however, completely align with his self assessment. He was comfortable with himself just as he was. He did not miss Ino. His anger with her faded quite quickly. He could not be bothered with it. He realized she really cramped his style. Of course, by style he meant his laziness.

Settling even more into the grass continuing to watch the clouds go by his musings continued along as they often did. His obligations now only consisted of his service to the village. In his off hours for the past few months he had also been obligated to Ino and all of her whims, all of her definitions and expectations of a boyfriend. The going out and the being seen, he did not necessarily mind. She always made it somewhat worth his while. Still, Shikamaru felted burdened by the expectation. He preferred to stay in and enjoy the quite.

He rationalized his acquiescence to Ino's advances toward him and eventually the relationship was more aligned to his nature. She made herself available showing interest. He also knew resisting her would increase her advances. He was not opposed to her. He had determined she was attractive and interesting. He had thought it was an easy pairing.

At the onset, he assumed Ino would eventually tire of him or he her. She was not the type to settle into routine and enjoy the little things. Her extreme extroversion contrasted greatly with everything he was. Actually he was certain he had only attracted Ino because she saw him as a puzzle to unlock. When she realized he was nothing more than the straightforward picture he had always presented himself to be she became bored and unimpressed.

He chuckled quietly. If she wanted a puzzle, Sasuke should have been her first choice. Well he supposed Sasuke was her first choice. Though he surmised the man was missing a few pieces. Namely any ability to appreciate bonds of humanity. He supposed having all one's kin slaughtered by a trusted and loving sibling would cause that sort of relationship void.

Shikamaru spied a cloud that was unrolling toward him like a scroll. A blank page, a clear agenda. He had a couple days free from the tower. He was expected to do some maintenance in the forest and check on the deer. His father would probably join him if he could spare the time. It would be a quiet respite that he was extremely looking forward to.

"Aaaachhooooo." Shikamaru cringed. "Man what a drag."

He wiped his nose harshly and emerged from the cocoon of blankets he had created on his couch. He opened his door with a scowl that could wound whoever decided to disturb him. His respite turned into a sickbed. Though he was still free of obligations he could no longer fully enjoy it.

The scowl morphed into blankness when his vision was flooded with the red of her typical attire. "I came to check on you. Choji said you weren't feeling well," she explained as he moved aside that she might enter. She followed him back to his small sitting room.

Returning to cocoon himself in blankets he said, "It's nothing, just some fever and aches. It's a real drag to be sick on a day off."

"Fever?" she lifted and began extending her hand. It was already softly glowing with chakra. He tried to evade her intrusion to his personal space.

"I'm fine, Sakura," he insisted.

She smiled and brought her hand to his temple anyway, "I think I'm better suited to make that conclusion."

He studied her as she went about her assessment. He noted not only had she returned to her normal wardrobe but also her hair was again well kempt. Her aura was vibrant and pulsing with life again. Her eyes shone with concern. He was glad that she chose to return to herself instead of wallowing in dismay over Sasuke and Ino.

Then his thoughts were drawn to what she was doing. Her eyes closed but moving underneath their lids with her concentration. She was focusing on the chakra she was beaming through him. While she continued to assess him he began further assessment of her. He typically found any medic's minstations intrusive. He could feel her chakra in waves as it passed through his tissues. He realized she had learn to control her chakra and release it to ebb and flow as soothing waves as if they were lapping a beach. The waves were far more soothing than a constant barrage of another's chakra invading his. Hers was more comforting than intrusive. She had truly found her calling as a ninja.

He could feel the chill of his fever alleviating slightly. Shikamaru felt her chakra waves receding from him and watched her eyes open. Then, he witnessed her brow knit with concern.

"Shika, I'm so sorry," she murmured. "You're going to have to lay low for awhile."

"And why's that?" He sighed laboriously.

"Viral influenza I'm afraid. It's a rare strand that we don't immunize due to its rarity. I'm not sure where you would have picked it up in the village. No other diagnosis has been reported recently. You'll need to remain isolated for 7 days, until your fever free for 24 hours."

"Man, what a drag." He quipped crossing his arms in front making his cocoon lumpy. "I probably picked it up in Snow. Tsunade sent me to deliver message scrolls a few days ago. I was feeling fine until a couple hours go."

"That's common. You're coming out of the incubation phase. Now, your body is succumbing to the virus and trying to combat it," she easily explained.

"Ugh," he cringed. He knew she was right. Aside from her skill and knowledge, he could already feel his fever coming back with vengeance.

"Look, I'll inform the Hokage and get you off the roster for medical leave. I'll come back with some antivirals and anti-nausea medication. You'll have to quarantine yourself here to avoid an outbreak. Do you need anything else, supplies?"

"I'll manage."

"Well, okay. I'll be back soon. Then, I'll do a more in depth session with chakra. Hopefully, we can try decrease your downtime to 3 or 4 days if you'll let me treat you everyday. I highly suggest you increase your fluid intake." A huge smile spread across her face. "You'll also need to relax and rest as much as possible."

His lip upturned in a half smile. "You don't say."

"Let me get you a glass of water, okay?"

He nodded and began to feel the weariness of his body. She returned to him with a full glass setting it beside him gently on the end table. His eyes were drooping closed as he watched he see herself out.

"Troublesome," he whispered to himself falling asleep.


End file.
